Dear Trump Voters,
When I was in high school I dated a girl that none of my friends thought I should be with. While she was definitely engaging, she was also less than dignified, shot off at the mouth, lied and unbeknownst to me, she “serviced”, quite a few of my acquaintances in the year or so before we dated. But I saw past all that. I saw someone nobody else seemed to see. I ignored her blatant red flags and carried on. We dated for almost two months (six months in high school years). In the end, I found out she consistently lied about her whereabouts, she lied about who she was talking to, she was always in some drama due to the fact she couldn’t seem to not say something obnoxious, and the pièce de ré·sis·tance: she wrote a letter to my best female friend (who is not gay) professing her love.
Needless to say, after these revelations, we broke up. This led to her exclaiming in the middle of the hallway, “I’m gonna make your senior year a living hell.” Fortunately for me, she was kicked out of school a few weeks later.
After the breakup, I was down in the dumps for a while. Not because we broke up, but because I was too stupid to take those red flags seriously. One day, I was venting to a buddy about it. And after about 20 minutes, said buddy said unto me, “Mistakes happen”. And thanks to that very matter-of-fact advice from my friend, I was renewed and was able to move on.
The point of that story is simple: As your buddy, I want to tell you that I forgive you. And mistakes happen. That’s right. You saw right past The Donald’s red flags and you hopped in bed with him anyway. And you know what? It’s okay. You made a mistake. You thought that the potential positives outweighed the negatives. It happens. You’ve been living with this mistake for nearly three months (3.5 years in Trump years), but you can get out of it.
Now it’s time to learn from that mistake. Break up with him. Tell him you wanna see other people. Reject his bad behavior by letting him go and NEVER make this mistake again. In time, your wounds will heal. But you’ll be much better for it later. Trust me.
You can do it! I believe in you!
And you never know, he may get kicked out too.
Your obedient servant,